My Hormones + Hakomi: The 5 simple principles of Hakomi that overhauled my PCOS

I started with a nutritionist, then supplements, then I went on to tracking my cycle, to regular blood tests, to nailing my exercise routine (bye spin, hello pilates), to seed cycling, changing what I ate at different points in my cycle, to monitoring my basal body temperature. I stopped doom scrolling and started meditating. I gave up alcohol. I cut back on caffeine. I lost weight. I thought I would finally reach the menstrual cycle elixir of life. I was wrong. 

It wasn’t until I stumbled upon Hakomi and somatic practices that the true missing piece of the puzzle began to reveal itself. All my meticulous tracking, dietary adjustments, and lifestyle changes were addressing the symptoms, but not the root cause. My body, it turned out, was holding a story I hadn’t yet learned to read. The endless pursuit of hormonal balance through external controls was overlooking a crucial internal dialogue – one deeply influenced by past experiences and the subtle language of my nervous system.

I learned that my body’s intricate network of hormone-producing glands, particularly the Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Adrenal (HPA) axis and the Hypothalamic-Pituitary-Ovarian (HPO) axis, were in a constant state of alert due to unaddressed trauma. This wasn’t about major, overt trauma, but the cumulative effect of smaller, everyday stresses and unresolved emotional imprints that had kept my system in a perpetual “survival mode.” This chronic activation of my HPA axis was directly impacting my HPO axis, essentially telling my body that reproduction was a non-essential function, leading to dysregulation in progesterone and oestrogen levels, and even affecting my thyroid. All of this worsened my PCOS. I kept pushing myself and forgot to enjoy the little moments of joy, ultimately depleting my system of oxytocin (another key component to the female nervous system). My body was prioritising survival over hormonal harmony, and no amount of seed cycling or dietary tweaks could override that fundamental biological imperative.

Hakomi, with its emphasis on mindfulness and non-violence, taught me to listen. Instead of trying to force my body into compliance, I began to approach my physical sensations with curiosity and compassion. This shift was deeply rooted in the Hakomi principle of Organicity, recognising my body’s innate capacity for healing and self-organisation. I moved from a mindset of ‘fixing’ my body to one of trusting its inherent wisdom to reveal what was needed for transformation. 

Through gentle “experiments in consciousness,” I started to notice how certain thoughts or memories manifested as tension in my jaw, a tightness in my chest, or a subtle clenching in my abdomen. I have woken up in the middle of the night with a sense of dread and doom for as long as I can remember. These weren’t just random physical discomforts; they were the body’s way of telling its story, revealing the embodied truths of old beliefs and unresolved experiences.

Somatic practices became the language through which I could finally communicate with my body. I learned to identify and track sensations, allowing them to unfold without judgment. This wasn’t about intellectual understanding; it was about experiencing the connection between my emotional landscape and my physical state. The principle of Mind-Body Holism became profoundly clear: my core beliefs and emotional states were not separate from my physical being, but were actively expressed through my posture, movements, and physiological responses. By working directly at this mind-body meeting point, I began to understand that my body wasn’t failing me; it was protecting me, albeit in ways that were no longer serving my hormonal health. This process also illuminated the Unity principle, showing me how bringing attention to these previously isolated or conflicting parts – my anxious mind, my stressed body, my hurting heart – fostered a deeper integration within myself. 

By creating a safe, relational space within myself, I could gently invite these protective patterns to relax, offering my nervous system the “missing experiences” of safety and attunement it had long craved . This shift, from fighting my body to befriending it, was the true elixir I had been searching for, finally allowing my hormones to find their natural rhythm and balance. 

This profound personal journey has reshaped not only my own understanding of hormonal health but also how I guide my clients. I now teach them that while tracking and optimising lifestyle factors are valuable, they are often insufficient without addressing the deeper, embodied narratives held within. There is no one-size-fits-all solution to hormonal balance because each individual’s body carries a unique history, a distinct set of experiences, and its own way of communicating needs. 

These days, my focus is on helping clients stop the ‘war’ with their bodies and start listening instead. We work on building a relationship that’s gentle and curious, letting their own inner wisdom lead the way as we explore how their mind and body are constantly working together. By fostering this internal unity, they too can discover their personal “elixir of life” – a sustainable, authentic hormonal harmony that arises from within, rather than being imposed from without.