Data vs. Soul: What My Toxic Hormone Coach Taught Me About Sovereignty

Around a year ago, I started working with a hormone health coach, I won’t name and shame here, but I can safely say that it was not an enjoyable experience. This coach knew her hormonal science stuff and she gave me the goods but as the sessions went on, I couldn’t help but feel that I wasn’t really being listened to, that my worries and concerns were being dismissed. She even turned my personal reflections into a weapon. After I finished an online quiz she’d requested, she used my answers about my parents to ‘explain away’ my valid concerns about her, essentially telling me that my intuition was just unresolved trauma. I felt my stomach turn into a tight knot but I overrode my feelings and powered through. A very very familiar pattern for me. 

Finally, I had had enough. I felt like she just wanted data, she didn’t take into account my emotions or feelings or what was going on in my life (which of course has a direct influence on my hormones). When I asked a question, I was given a timeout sign. She gave me a diet plan to get to my ‘goal’ weight, despite me telling her I had had serious issues losing weight for the past few years, no matter what I ate or what exercise I did. She wanted me to track my cycle and told me there was probably something seriously wrong with my thyroid from looking at my body basal temperatures (turns out there was nothing wrong with it). I had to take pictures of my meals and input it onto an app that she never looked at. I felt old disordered eating starting to rear its head. When she made me co-host on a zoom call so I could show her something on my screen, I saw she had let someone else into the waiting room and was messaging them, despite her saying we had an hour together (time I had set aside) but it turned into 30 minutes. Finally I had had enough and cut the cord.

Afterwards I pondered why it had taken me so long to walk away from this coach. Why did I feel that I had to stay in something that was making me unhappy, unseen and unheard (hello darkness, my old friend)? Was it her huge following on Instagram? The stories she posted where she seemingly replied to her client’s WhatsApp messages? Thoughts began to surface. Why doesn’t she reply to mine? Does she just not like me? I began to forget who I was in the constant noise of the ‘wellness’ industry and what I actually wanted to achieve regarding my hormonal health. I disregarded how I knew my gut feeling and intuition telling me to run the other way and I stayed.

That’s the insidious thing about the modern wellness industry, isn’t it? It’s so loud, so polished, so full of promises of a “perfect” body, a “perfect” cycle, a “perfect” life – all attainable if you just follow thisguru, buy that supplement, or track every single data point of your existence. It preys on our insecurities, whispering that we’re not enough, not doing enough, not healing enough, unless we’re constantly striving for some external ideal. And when we’re feeling vulnerable, when we’re desperate for answers, it’s so easy to outsource our own innate wisdom to someone who seems to have all the answers.

But here’s the truth: your body is not a broken machine waiting for an expert to fix it. Your intuition is not a flaw to be overridden by an online quiz. Your feelings are not inconvenient data points to be dismissed. They are your most powerful guides. My stomach turning into a tight knot? That was my body screaming, “Danger, Will Robinson!” But I, like so many of us, had been conditioned to ignore those whispers, to override my somatic intelligence in favour of intellectual authority, especially when that authority came wrapped in a pretty Instagram feed and a promise of hormonal bliss.

This experience, as painful as it was, became a pivotal moment. It was the wake-up call I needed to remember that true healing doesn’t come from external validation or a rigid protocol. It comes from within. It comes from reconnecting with the subtle, profound wisdom of your own body. This is what I call sovereignty. It comes from learning to listen to that gut feeling, that somatic sensation, that quiet knowing that tells you what’s right for you, even when it contradicts the loudest voices in the wellness space. This is why my work is about listening to my clients, about what is happening in their bodies, about appreciating they are the experts of them. Think of it as a house. I help you build the foundations with good nutrition, supplements and lifestyle changes, but you get to decorate and furnish the rooms with deep guided somatic work and enquiry. 

Reclaiming your sovereignty, especially in a world that constantly tries to tell you what to do, is an act of radical self-love. It’s about understanding that your body holds the answers to your hormonal health, and your nervous system is the key to unlocking them. It’s about trusting that you are your own best expert, and that true wellness isn’t about perfection, but about presence, compassion, and a deep, unwavering connection to yourself. It’s about finally turning down the noise and hearing your own song.