Lets stop chasing the ‘perfect’ cycle

When I first started out on my journey to heal my PCOS, I became obsessed with having the most perfect, symptom-free, timely, on time, pain-free, mentally stable and deeply fulfilling period. I fixated on my luteal and menstrual phases, not really caring whether I was ovulating or not (ovulation is actually the star of the show). I desperately wanted my period to return and for it to not be crippling each month, mentally and physically. As I turned to the wellness industry, I found that a lot of coaches fed that cycle obsession, but also always made me feel like I was falling short. It triggered old eating disorder behaviour, I became obsessed with what I was eating, and when I was exercising. I also became a sleep military sergeant. I was anxious to achieve the perfect 8 hours, and when I didn’t, well I felt like I had failed and that I was condemned to a life of broken cycle and broken sleep. It perpetuated the shame I already felt about a body that wasn’t working properly, so I began to create my own (SHAME-FREE) framework, pulled from different sources, that I provide to my clients today. This is framework that appreciates that I am a human being, not a human doing. Most importantly, this framework allowed me to reverse my chronic PCOS to mild PCOS. 

In the vast and often overwhelming landscape of wellness advice, a pervasive mantra has taken root: “just balance your hormones.” This seemingly simple solution promises to unlock optimal health, energy, and well-being, often suggesting that a myriad of common ailments – from fatigue and weight gain to mood swings and acne – can be attributed to a vague “hormone imbalance.” Social media feeds and wellness blogs are awash with protocols, supplements, and lifestyle hacks designed to achieve this elusive equilibrium. However, beneath the appealing veneer of quick fixes and natural remedies lies a fundamental misunderstanding of human physiology. The truth is, the notion of “just balancing your hormones” as presented by many in the wellness industry is not only an oversimplification but, in many cases, a dangerous lie. It often creates an illusion of a ‘perfect’ cycle or hormonal state, adding undue pressure on individuals, particularly women, to conform to an idealized, often patriarchal, standard of health, rather than truly listening to their bodies and their unique hormonal rhythms.

The Allure of a Simple Solution

The appeal of “hormone balancing” is undeniable. In a world where health concerns can feel complex and overwhelming, the idea that a single, overarching principle – hormonal harmony – can address a wide range of symptoms is incredibly attractive. This narrative often preys on genuine frustrations with conventional medicine, which can sometimes feel slow, fragmented, or dismissive of subjective experiences. 

This trend is particularly prevalent among women, tapping into historical narratives that often attribute female physical and psychological states to hormonal fluctuations. As sociologist Norah MacKendrick notes, “female bodies are generally seen to be more hormonal than male bodies,” and the concept of hormone balance can become a stand-in for societal ideals of thinness and usefulness . This pursuit of a ‘perfect’ hormonal state, often framed around an idealised menstrual cycle, can inadvertently reinforce patriarchal expectations, placing additional pressure on women to achieve an unattainable standard of biological regularity. The promise of regaining control over one’s body and alleviating discomfort through “natural” means creates a powerful draw, leading many to invest time, money, and hope into unproven methods, rather than fostering a deeper understanding and acceptance of their body’s natural rhythms.

The Scientific Reality: Hormones are Complex, Not “Balanced”

The human endocrine system is an intricate network of glands and organs that produce and release over 50 different hormones, each with highly specific roles and interactions . These chemical messengers regulate virtually every bodily function, from metabolism and growth to mood and reproduction. Crucially, hormones do not exist in a static state of “balance.” Instead, they operate within dynamic, tightly regulated pathways characterized by constant fluctuation, feedback loops, and precise timing. True hormonal health isn’t about achieving a mythical stasis, but about understanding and listening to these natural, rhythmic changes within your body.

Endocrinologists, medical specialists who study hormones and their disorders, emphasise that the idea of a generalised “hormone imbalance” is scientifically inaccurate. Dr. Lindsey VanDyke, an endocrinologist, explains that if someone claims a vague “hormone imbalance” without specifying which hormone, in which pathway, and why, they are not engaging in a conversation grounded in real endocrine science . Hormonal levels naturally vary throughout the day, across different life stages, and in response to environmental cues. For instance, menstrual cycles involve significant and natural shifts in oestrogen, progesterone, and testosterone – these are not imbalances to be corrected but normal physiological processes. Rather than striving for an artificial ‘perfect cycle,’ a more empowering approach involves understanding and adapting to these inherent rhythms of your body .

Real hormone disorders, such as hypothyroidism (underactive thyroid) or Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS), are specific, diagnosable medical conditions with clear diagnostic criteria and established treatments. They involve measurable deviations from healthy ranges and often have significant health consequences beyond vague symptoms . These conditions require precise testing, interpretation by qualified medical professionals, and targeted interventions, which are distinct from generalized “balancing” protocols that often ignore the body’s nuanced signals.

The Dangers of the “Hormone Balancing” Industry

The constant pursuit of an elusive “balance” – often framed around an idealised, ‘perfect’ cycle – can create anxiety and stress, exacerbating the very symptoms individuals are trying to alleviate. This relentless pressure to conform to an external standard, rather than understanding and accepting one’s own body, can contribute to disordered eating, an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise, and a profound disconnect from one’s intrinsic hormonal rhythms.

A Path Forward: Evidence-Based Health

The desire for optimal health and well-being is valid and understandable. However, the path to achieving it does not lie in chasing the mirage of a static “hormone balance” or an idealised ‘perfect’ cycle. Instead, a more effective and empowering approach involves truly listening to your body and its unique hormonal landscape, guided by evidence-based understanding and self-compassion. 

My own framework (that I used for me):

1. Prioritising foundational health practices that have proven benefits for overall well-being, including a balanced diet (eating for where you are in your cycle) regular physical activity (again adjusted to where you are in your cycle so no HITT please in luteal and menstrual), adequate sleep (notice I did not use the word perfect), and stress management (grounded somatic practices). These practices support the body’s natural regulatory systems, including the endocrine system. 
3. Recognising that you are the expert of your body. Your body has its own intrinsic rhyme and rhythms. My work is about supporting you to start listening to your body, and your cycle and what it may be telling you. Yes, part of that can be making huge improvements but a key thing is to stop listening to wellness influencers who tell you what your cycle SHOULD look like every month, and if it doesn’t – well you have failed. 
4. Seeking the medical help as support. I got blood tests, and still have regular scans and check up to on my little buddy PCOS. I recognised I could make huge changes via lifestyle for my hormones, but I also recognise I am not a doctor and I may need further support. I signpost my clients accordingly when I feel something more is going on and may require diagnosing and/or medical attention.
5. Nervous system regulation and somatic work. This was a game changer for me and is still something my cycle very much relies on as well as mental and emotional health. Somatic exercises such as havening, self touch, deep breathing and orienting are all tools I do regularly to help my system feel flooded with oxytocin. Oxytocin is key to regulating your female nervous system and strengthening the bond between your HPA and HPO axes.
6. Accepting that sometimes life gets ‘lifey’ – and my cycle may be a little off. I moved flats last month and this month my period was 5 days late. I got a little nervy waiting for it, but I also knew that my very sensitive system had most likely put ovulation on hold for a few days. I supported myself the best I could in what felt like a prolonged luteal phase. Some days were messy. Others weren’t so bad. And thats okay! 

I think it’s important that we recognise that human physiology is complex, dynamic, and profoundly individual. Health is not a static state of “balance” or adherence to a ‘perfect’ template, but an ongoing process of adaptation, resilience, and deep listening to your body’s unique signals.

The narrative of “just balancing your hormones” is a compelling but ultimately misleading oversimplification, often rooted in a patriarchal desire to control and standardise female bodies. By understanding the scientific reality of the endocrine system, recognising the societal pressures that create the illusion of a ‘perfect’ cycle, and prioritising evidence-based approaches that empower you to listen to your own body, we can move beyond the allure of quick fixes and cultivate genuine, lasting well-being that honours your unique hormonal journey.